Nonrefundable Offer
by Q Bone
Summary: Given the completely unexpected and unwanted opportunity to live in your favorite anime, you find yourself involved with spirits, the main characters, and a whole bunch of weird adventures. Good thing you can only die once, right? ...right? SI Story R&R
1. Here and Back Again

Nonrefundable Offer

Chapter 1: Here and Back Again

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><p>Looking back, it really was a stupid thing to do.<p>

"_Hey! Just what the hell are you people doing?"_

I mean, I just _had_ to pick that day to do something stupidly noble. I just _had_ to grow a spine. I could have walked away, I could have just looked the other way, forgot about the whole thing, and nothing would have happened to me. Oh, but nooo. No, I just had to go and get messed up in something that was none of my business to begin with.

"_Please, make them stop…Call the police!"_

"_You move along, girl, if you know what's good for you."_

Damnit. Damn conscious. Damn spine. Damn stupid girl. Damn thugs. Damn damn damn.

"_Y-You let her go, or I'll scream." They glared at me, and I stepped back. The groceries in my arms suddenly felt like bags of bricks. "Let her go, now!"_

_They looked at each other. Something between them sparked. The girl they had cornered whimpered, then struggled frantically against one's hold. She broke free and ran, out of the alley and out of sight. They let her run, not one going after her. My eyes feel to the piece of clothing on the ground by their feet. It was the girl's jacket. My mouth went dry._

What did I think I would do? I didn't have my phone, I had been alone, and I sure didn't know how to defend myself against- what had it been, half a dozen guys? I didn't think bastards like them even existed, let alone got together in gangs to do…whatever they had been doing.

"_Ugh!" My shoulders hit the brick with a slam. One of them had a hold of my arm, the others were on watch. _

"_So, you think you're some kind of hero? Well, we had plans for tonight." He leaned forward, and whispered in my ear. "Plans we really don't feel like changing. We're busy people."_

_My blood felt cold, and drained down to my toes. I couldn't see. I couldn't even think. The air didn't move, I could feel the guy's hot breath on my cheek, and all too aware of some wondering hands. I had to do something- I wasn't going to stand here and let…let them do what they wanted. No way. Nononono. I took a breath in._

Stupid, stupid thing to do.

_I kneed the creep, then elbowed the back of his head into my knee. The resulting _crunch _said his nose was definitely busted. I reveled in the victory, but it was so short lived it hardly even mattered. He wasn't out. No, now he was just angry. Angry and bloody._

"_Bitch!"_

_And that was when he drew his knife._

The really stupid thing though? Looking back, as I lay here, dying on the ground?

_A slash._

"_Dude! What the hell are you doing?"_

"_Stop it, man!"_

_A panicked stab. I looked down, and saw it right there, sticking out of my chest. I felt cold. I coughed, and somehow met the ground without really knowing how I got there. Panicked footsteps. _

"_C'mon man, we have to go!"_

"_Move!"_

The really stupid thing…

_A cold rush made me shut my eyes. Something wet, yet warm brushed my fingers, dyeing them scarlet. Blood. I was going to die. I was going to die in some nowhere alley with no one around. _

_It felt hard to breathe. Too much effort. A nap, I think, will do me some good…_

…is that I'd do all over again, given the chance to help that one, stupid girl.

_A light. A face. An out stretched arm. An embrace._

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>I think a second chance is in order."<strong>_

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><p>Rubbing alcohol.<p>

My nose twitched at the familiar smell. Was dad home? He always smelt like the hospital when he came home. _Ugh…what time is it?_ He didn't get off until midnight on the best of days, and three on the worst. With what seemed like way too much effort, I opened my eyes. Only to be greeted by an unfamiliar ceiling.

I blinked. Then blinked again- only to find it still there. It was plain and white- my ceiling was a light blue, the same color it had been ever since I was a baby. Logical explanation? I was not in my room.

"Where am- _ack!"_

The instant I tried to sit up, and sharp pang in my chest made me gasp. I felt sweat build on my forehead and drip down my cheek as I struggled to keep my breathing under control. I looked down- and was horrified to find myself not only shirtless, but practically mummified in bandages from the neck down! Red splotches began to seep through in spots, and I took the hint to lay back down. My vision blurred for a bit, and when it finally refocused, I took in where I was.

I was on a thin futon in the middle of a very bare room, with a single thick blanket draped over me. Well shit. What happened? This was no hospital, despite the very anesthesia-esc smell to the place. It looked very…well, not to sound ignorant, but Japanese. The style of everything to the pattern on the blanket gave off a very eastern vibe. So…what. Had I been kidnapped and shipped off to Japan?

I tried to think. My arms ached, but I reached to feel my chest anyway. I had been…hurt. Hurt how? A horrible memory of seeping blood and the smell of concrete made my head pound. I tried to stop the resulting onslaught of recollection, but I just couldn't. Flashes graced my mind. A scream, that scared, stupid girl, her jacket torn and on the ground, the bastard holding me against the wall and that knifknifeknifeknife…

I had been stabbed. I thought I had died. Was I dead? Was this heaven or hell or whatever? I still _felt_ alive…but…

"What the hell is going on?" I groaned, and buried my face in my hands. "Damnit!"

I kicked the blanket off and forced myself to stand up- ignoring the resulting pain. I didn't care. I wanted answers. No one keeps me in the dark. My legs shook with every step, and I had to lean against the door frame when I reached it. I stopped at the sight before me.

I was in an apartment. Abet a very small one, but an apartment all the same. I stood looking into a decent sized kitchen area, and could see the door to a bathroom to my left. Just where the heck was I? Someone's house? Whose?

I struggled to reach the bathroom, and splashed some cool water against my face. I looked a mess. My hair, usually a decent blonde, looked withered and sickly. My skin was pale and clammy, and my normally dark brown eyes were faded, and sported bags. I looked like I just woke up from a terrible night on the town, or a monstrous last minute cram session. But I was definitely alive. Someone had patched me up. On the bathroom counter were several rolls of bandage, cotton balls, bottles of disinfectant, and a sewing kit. And, where I nearly missed it, folded and tucked under one of the bottles, a note.

The writing was swirly, and had been written with heavy ink:

**My dear, sweet angel,**

**I leave you with all you need. Another note in the kitchen, along with a wallet will explain further. You're here to live, but please be careful. Don't do anything strenuous while you heal. You don't want to die again so soon, do you? Hopefully, we'll never meet again. **

**Be safe,**

**A friend.**

I blinked. "Just what the hell is that suppose to mean?"

Die again? What, I really did die? Was this the afterlife? Was I in another life? What 'friend'? What was I suppose to do? What note in the kitchen?

With newfound determination fueled by confusion, I left for the kitchen, finding said note, a leather wallet, a folded shirt, a pair of socks, and a pair of shoes in a neat pile on the counter. Inside the wallet was a ton of yen (for once, I thanked God my parents had forced us to visit my grandparents in Japan every summer), three credit cards, an ID, and a key, no doubt to the apartment. The ID was definitely of me, but it didn't sport my name. Apparently, I was now: Tanaka Misaki.

Inside the note was a map with several circled locations, and an explanation that I didn't need to worry about financial…well, anything, and that I needed to go out and buy a wardrobe, and I was enrolled in a local high school (due to start school in two weeks). That was it. No explanation for where the hell "here" was, how I got here, who had set this all up, or how I can get home.

I felt like screaming. I wanted to throw something. I wanted to close my eyes and wake up at home, with my parents, and go to _my_ school. I wanted to eat my mom's terrible cooking. I wanted to barade my dad for staying at work too long. I just…I just…

I didn't even notice the tears until they rolled down my cheeks. I slumped down on the kitchen tile, because my legs just didn't want to hold me up anymore. How did this happen? How did I go from living my normal life to…to whatever the fuck this was suppose to be? Did my "friend" really this was a good thing? Was I just supposed to up and forget my other life? My family? My real friends? The pain in my chest made me bite back some sobs.

I don't how long I sat there, but I eventually made my way back to bed and fell asleep, hoping to wake up to something better.

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><p>The next morning, I didn't have any trouble remembering what had happened. However, there was one newfound glimmer of hope in my situation. My chest didn't hurt nearly as much when I got up. When I went to change the bandages, I was greeted by a…pleasant? sight.<p>

I wasn't bleeding anymore. In fact, I was practically all healed up. I got a good look at exactly what had happened to me as well.

A little above where my heart was a large, jagged, star-like scar graced chest. The tissue was an ugly pink and pale red, and undoubtedly would never go away. I had a second scar, from where I had been slashed, across my collarbone. I'd have to be careful to keep that one covered. Minor cuts and bruises covered my stomach and arms, but they would go away with time. After I finished cleaning up, I took a long shower, which felt heavenly. Thankfully, while I didn't have any clothes yet, I did have toiletries and towels.

Once I put on my only pair of shorts, socks, shoes and a shirt, I looked at myself in the mirror.

I was confused. I was upset. I was sad. I wanted to go home. None of those feelings were going away anytime soon.

But I needed to go out. I had to buy clothes (not only because I needed them, but because I wanted to see if what the note said was true about…well, everything) and I sure as hell needed some fresh air. Then I'd focus on getting home.

With a breath, I grabbed the wallet and the map, and set out. If I hadn't been so preoccupied with my mission, I would have noticed the paper charms above my doorframe.

Not two feet out the door, I was greeted by a huge, hovering, purple monstrosity that I instantly placed. I was staring at a spirit. One of its many eyes swiveled to meet my own, and lurched toward me. Yep, I definitely recognized it- and no, I couldn't believe my eyes. Because it shouldn't have be real. Because it _wasn't_ real.

Because I was being lurched upon by a spirit from a show I was very familiar with- the Japanese cartoon; xxxHolic.

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><p><strong>(AN): ** For anyone worried, THERE WILL BE CANON CHARACTER APPEARANCES IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. Also, this story will be following a sort of spliced version of the manga and anime canon. Hopefully, this chappie made at least some of you curious as to what exactly just happened to out unfortunate narrator. Btw, I do have an explanation for what exactly happened to here- there will be an explanation (as to who is this 'friend' and how she can see spirits very clearly- **here's a hint, if you die, you're technically a spirit yourself for a little while, even if you came back, right**?) but that will all come a little later.

I would appreciate some feedback. I'm trying something way outside my comfort zone with this story. Come on, the button is right there. You don't even need to be signed in. It takes, what, a few minutes? Pwease?


	2. Pants on Fire

Nonrefundable Offer

Blah- Japanese

Blah- English

Chapter 2: Pants on Fire

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><p>I had expected it to pounce. Or maybe try to eat me. Or kill me (again, as it were).<p>

Whatever I had expected- it sure as hell hadn't been _this_.

"You're really bad at the whole _malevolent spirit_ thing, aren't you?" I couldn't believe I was thinking it, but the giant purple smoke blob was _cute_.

It hadn't tried to attack me. No- in fact, it tried to _snuggle _me. There was no other word for what it was doing. The second I took a step outside, I more than a little shocked at the sight of something that _wasn't suppose to exist_, and tried to bolt…only to tip on the first step outside my door. Mrs. Face and Mr. Concrete got to be very close friends, nearly breaking my nose in the process. Sitting up, blood gushing from my nostrils and staining my sole shirt, the blob did something unexpected.

It hovered low and wrapped around me- not touching me, but floating in a circle closely around me. And its many creepy eyes looked…_concerned?_ And I can't explain why I thought so, but it didn't _feel _hostile. While the logical part of my brain was screaming at me to get away from the thing- well, _something else_ told me not to be afraid. That it had no intention of harming me. That it was docile. Its sounds so incredibly cheesy, (and I grimaced as I even thought it) but my _heart_ told me it was okay to let it get close.

Gingerly, I reached out to touch it. Its smoky body twisted and twirled between my fingers in an almost playful fashion. Before I could stop myself, I felt the ends of my lips turn upwards. Something told me this thing was all right; that all it wanted was my company. Where that thought came from was beyond me- it was just a feeling.

I stood up, and the thing floated up to hover my side, occasionally looping around me in a small circle. It reminded me of a dog waiting to be taken on a walk, leash in its mouth and all.

"You can't believe how weird this is for me." I chuckled, but I didn't miss the small amount of hysteria in it. "I don't suppose you know why I can see you, do you?"

It didn't replay, but looped around me closely, its eyes showing a bit of sympathy. I sighed, and reached out to run my fingers through it again. The smoke danced, and I went to wipe some of the blood drying above my upper lip, before looking down at the few small splotches of scarlet that had managed to stain my shirt.

"Now I really need to buy a wardrobe." I said. "I take it you'll be my escort this evening?"

The smoke spirit bounced happily. I pulled the map from my pocket and began to walk- though I wasn't really paying any attention to where I was going. I was far too distracted by more…pressing things. For example, why I was being followed by a spirit that was suppose to exist in the fictitious world of a Japanese cartoon/comic book.

I didn't waste any time trying to delude myself that it wasn't real. It was most certainly the same purple smoke spirit that tried to molest Watanuki in the first episode. (What? That's what it looked like.) Also, it felt too real to be a dream. _Everything_ felt too real to be some kind of dream. I knew (and I winched a bit reminding myself of it) that the pain I had felt in my chest the day before had definitely been real. Though I wanted to dismiss the notion as completely impossible, I couldn't help but think that maybe, _just maybe…_

I swallowed hard. That maybe I was in the world of xxxHolic.

How? Why? I had no idea. But it was the only logical thing I could think of- if there was anything logical about dying then waking up in a different universe (dimension- whatever-) at all. Also, if that was the case, why was Mr. Smoky being so…well, nice? Actually, better question, why could I see him…_it_…at all? Shouldn't it be all over me like Watanuki if I could see spirits like him?

I groaned. Too many questions. My head was beginning to hurt.

Around me, I passed more apartments, then some houses, and finally entered what seemed like the downtown shopping area of town. I hadn't even noticed walking that far. I shook myself. Now was not the time for spacing out.

Smoky continued to hover around me as we crossed the street- and I felt strangely nervous around the sudden amount of people. They seemed so…normal. Just going out, doing their daily shopping, chatting with each other about mundane things like dinner plans and the weather. My heart felt strange. Life kept going on, even as all this crazy stuff was happening to me. I didn't know how to feel about it.

I shook my head. I was on a mission. I'd sort out my feelings after I was finished shopping. Absently, I noticed everyone was speaking Japanese. So I was in fictional Japan. Huh. It made sense, I supposed, seeing as xxxHolic was created in Japan and all. However, nerves began to make me squirm. Although my family traditionally spent the summer holidays in Japan to visit my grandparents- I was a little rusty on the account that I had opted to go to a summer camp instead of visiting them the pervious summer. I silently prayed that I didn't make myself look like an arrogant American tourist or something.

My first priority was shirts- seeing as walking around with dried blood on your front wasn't exactly a smart thing to do.

I quickly learned that when my "friend" wrote that the credit cards had no limit, he/she meant it. The card cleared and I let loose. (Don't look at me like that. Shopping is a good way to relive stress.) Smoky accompanied me my entire trip, and I only stopped buying things when I ran out of arm space to carry bags. I felt weirdly smug and satisfied at my splurge. Maybe it was stupid, but it felt good to mindlessly spend away whoever had tossed me into this world's money.

I bought miscellaneous things too, though most of it was junk- like stuffed animals, some books, a few magazines, ect. My Japanese had been rusty, as I expected, but I only made two or three horribly embarrassing flubs my entire trip. All in all, a success.

By the time I had finished, it was already getting dark. I tried not to think about my mom, and how she'd be worried sick if she knew I had been out late, alone, missing dinner. As I walked back to "my" apartment, map in hand, I wondered about the spirit that had stuck to me like glue the entire day. Smoky wasn't hurting or cursing me, like other spirits in the xxxHolic world; I didn't feel fatigued or worn down or anything like that. I almost weirded myself out how comfortable and quickly I had become accustomed to its presence. Something was definitely wrong with me- but I had enjoyed its company. I didn't feel completely alone in this new place with it by my side.

I laughed out loud at that. Here I was, finding solace in the company of a ghost.

I suppose I lost myself in thought for a while, because soon I found myself back near the apartments. My arms felt tired- and I badly wanted to go to bed. My feet ached, and my head was pounding slightly. Needless to say I felt relived to see my own apartment. With a yawn, I opened the door and went to step inside.

As if it had been burned, my ghostly companion yanked away. A sudden and terrible feeling of agony in my chest made me gasp and fall inside the doorway on my knees, choking on air. It was like someone had grabbed my heart and squeezed with all their might. It was only when I managed to draw any breath that I turned to see Smoky. Its body was twisting and wafting unnaturally, and something in my heart told me it was in pain. Its many eyes were wide and afraid, and in an instant it flew away, dissipating into thin air; it had run away- to get away from what was causing it so much pain. As it did, the grip on my heart loosened and I could breathe normally, though sweat had already gathered on my brow and I felt dizzy. What the hell had that been about?

I looked up, and zoned in on what I could hazard a guess was the issue.

Paper charms were strung above the door frame. The kanji was complicated, and I didn't know anything about occult, so their exact meaning was lost to me- but I knew what they had done. They were keeping any spirit from entering my home (_no,_ something protested in my head, _not your home_) and hurting them immensely if they tried.

I looked out at where Smoking had just been. My chest welled with something like guilt, but ten times worse. My hands went to feel my chest, right where my heart was. Right where my scar was.

But that didn't answer the question: why had they hurt me as well?

* * *

><p>The next day, I tried to rip them up. I hated them. I wanted to burn them.<p>

Only they wouldn't budge- nor would the paper tear or catch fire. I was stuck with them. No doubt my "friend's" doing. I was beginning to hate the person more and more as time went on. They were responsible for everything I was going through.

_But you're alive_, a little voice in my head reminded me, _because of them_.

_Well, I almost wish they'd let me die, _I snapped. _What good is living when I'm alone in this place? When I don't have my family, or friends, or anything? They can give me all the money in the world, make me as comfortable as possible, but I just wish-_

Wish.

A wish.

"That's it!" I jumped to my feet and began pulling on something to wear. "Yuuko!"

It was so obvious! Why hadn't I thought of it before? Yuuko could send me home, I just had to find her shop! I mean, you don't get a name like _Dimensional Witch_ without backing up the claim. I wanted to go home bad enough- surely I'd be able to see the shop in order to ask- and then I could pretend none of this ever happened. That this had all been one big dream. Yuuko would-

Yuuko would…

Yuuko would need payment. Sending me home would not be cheap.

My hope began crumpled as quickly as it had sparked. There was no way I'd be able to pay her- I had nothing to give. And even if I did, it wouldn't be enough. If Himawari couldn't pay to have her bad luck removed- I couldn't possibly have enough to pay for a transdimensional trip back home. But…

But I could still try. I could still ask. There was still a chance, abet an impossibly small one, that she could help. I wasn't going to lay down and take what had happened to me if there was even the slimmest chance of me getting back home. I felt my features harden. I should've been ashamed, almost giving up so easy. With that in mind, I pulled on a t-shirt, some jeans, and a pair of sandals. I pulled up my hair and changed my bandages, and was out the door before I noticed the one, major flaw in my plan.

I had no idea where Yuuko's shop was.

I smirked. No problem. There was one very hyperactive, spirit-seeing, glasses-wearing teen who most certainly did. I just hoped that I was somewhere in the xxHolic canon when he had already begun working there.

* * *

><p>"Ouch!"<p>

"Oh, I-I am so sorry-" I quickly switched languages. "I'm sorry! You okay? I-I wasn't paying attention to where I going. Here, let me…"

_I couldn't believe I spaced out like that_. I looked down at the woman I had just run into on the ground and offered her a hand up. She took it and brushed herself off, but didn't look any worse for wear. Fortunately for me, she didn't look the least bit angry.

I nearly kicked myself. I had been walking around for three hours without any progress in finding Watanuki. It was Sunday, so unfortunately that meant I couldn't just wait outside the local highschool for him. He could be anywhere, and at this point, I was hoping to just conveniently run into him. I read a lot of fanfiction, what can I say? The woman I had run into was certainly not Watanuki, but after getting a better look at her, she seemed vaguely familiar. Her hair was a short dyed blonde, and her eyes a dull turquoise. Where had I seen her before…?

"Oh, don't worry about it. Its my fault too." She offered lightly. "I noticed you spoke English. Here visiting?"

I sighed. "Unfortunately, no. I recently moved because of…_abrupt _circumstances, you could say."

"Nothing bad, I hope?"

I shrugged. "I didn't really have a choice."

"Oh. That's too bad." She said, with a touch of sympathy in her voice. I managed a smile.

"You sure you're okay? My head's been in the clouds a lot lately- I really need to get a handle on it before I start running into poles…" I stopped myself. "Sorry. You probably have things to do- I don't want to keep you."

The woman giggled. "Actually, no. I just broke up with my boyfriend- we got in this terrible fight over his job. He was a lawyer, and never spent enough time with me…"

Right before my eyes, a thick, swirling black mist erupted from her left hand. It smelt of raw sewage and it took all my willpower not to cover my nose. The stuff positively _reeked_.The smoke grew larger as she continued to speak, seeming unaware of the vile fumes. It originated from her pinky, twisting around the finger and up her arm, and my eyes began to water. _Now_ I remembered. She was that liar; the lair from the very beginning from the canon. I eyed her bare finger- she hadn't received the ring from Yuuko yet.

"Are you alright?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and she looked at me, concern laced in her words. The smoke instantly began to dissipate.

"Y-Yeah. Fine. I was spacing out again, wasn't I?"

She chuckled nervously. "A little. That's alright though, I do- _ouch_!" She flinched and left up her left hand, looking worried.

"Something wrong?" I already knew the answer.

"Its my little finger." She frowned. "Lately it's been sore, and sometimes I can't even move it. I went to the doctor but they said everything checked out. I'm starting to get worried…"

It sounded like she hadn't met Yuuko yet- which meant she was going to. The gears turned in my head- this was _perfect_.

"Well," I clapped my hands together. "I just feel terrible about bumping into you like this."

"Oh, it's no trouble, really. I was just out on a walk." No smoke. She was telling the truth. I grinned.

"Well, would you mind if I walk with you? You must be a little lonely after breaking up with your boyfriend and all. You could tell me about the town, if it's not too much to ask."

"Of course not, I'd be happy to!" She smiled at me, and I instantly felt guilty. I was using her…but I had no choice. I needed to find Yuuko's shop. From the sounds of it, she might have been unknowingly headed there herself.

So we walked. Turns out, her name was Nana. (This surprised me- she was never named in the anime or manga. But it made sense. She was a real person here, not just some extra.) I avoided asking her anymore about herself, out of fear that the black smoke would make a reappearance. (I can not stress how _god awful_ it stank. How Watanuki didn't throw up around her was beyond me.) When Nana asked me about myself, I almost used my real name. Introducing myself as Tanaka Misaki was going to take some getting used to. Not that I _wanted_ to use the alias some bastard had forced on me- but if I planned to go to school, that's what I was registered as. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with no wiggle room.

"I know this adorable little café just downtown," Nana was explaining, a mischievous glint in her eye. "It's the perfect place to bring any nice boys you meet, Tanaka-san."

I blushed. "I'm not planning on meeting any boys any time soon, thank you very much."

"Oh? Well, I don't see why not. If you want my advice, you should know a lot of guys like the authentic westerner look and I'll have you know your accent is the cutest thing I've ever heard." Nana stated matter-of-factly.

_Oh god, I hope not_. My cheeks flushed. "I seriously hope you're joking."

"Nope. I mean, you're only in highschool once. You should take advantage of what you got." She gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Sorry, but you'll be the new toy around school once you start- nothing exciting ever happens around here."

_Oh yes it does, you just can't see it. _"As much as I love discussing my dating future with you, Nana-san, I think…that…w…e…"

"Tanaka-san?"

My words died on my lips. There it was.

Just down the street, I recognized the familiar fence. A cherry blossom tree in full bloom within the plot blew pink petals towards us, a few landing by our feet. I don't know when I started running, but I eventually broke into a full-out sprint. Nana followed after me, but I didn't care. I was actually seeing it. It was really real.

"T-Tanaka-san, what's the matter?" Nana stopped beside me just outside the entrance. She huffed and puffed, her hands on her knees. "What is this place? I don't remember it being here before…"

_So you can see it_. I thought numbly, taking in the unique building before me. I was actually seeing it, in person, right before my eyes. I had found Yuuko's shop.

* * *

><p><strong>(AN): **The whole inclusion of underlined English in this chapter and not in the first chapter is because, well, everything was in English that chapter, and that would have meant a lot of annoying underlining.

Anyway! Yay! Plot!

Well, sorta. I probably just gave you more questions than answers. I always liked Liar Lady for some reason. She seemed like one of the less arsehole-ish customers who meets one of the most gruesome ends.

Review please! Feedback and criticism is always appreciated.


	3. Drop a House on Her

Nonrefundable Offer

Blah- Japanese

Blah- English

Chapter 3: Drop a House on Her

* * *

><p>"Customers for the Mistress~!"<p>

"Customers for the Mistress~!"

Watanuki Kimihiro watched from the kitchen as Maru and Moro scampered off toward the front door. He had been making Yuuko another one of her needlessly complicated (and difficult) requested dishes (per usual) when his mysterious employer got _that _glint her eye. She had been in the kitchen (disturbing his work and making it positively impossible to get _anything_ finished) asking for more sake (when it was only _eleven o'clock in the morning_), when she paused, looking pensive.

"I was wondering when they'd arrive." She said, with a small smile, mostly to herself.

"Who'd arrive?" Watanuki asked.

"Maru, Moro." Yuuko looked down at the two girls, completely ignoring the teen's question.

"Right!" They smiled, leaving the kitchen. "Customers~ customers~!"

"Wait- what?" Watanuki said, looking absolutely lost. "Who are you talking about?"

"Oh, no one you need to worry about." Yuuko grinned. "Besides, I'd be more focused on whatever's burning, if I were you."

"Ah! Oh no-!" The blue-eyed boy turned around to the lunch he'd just spent an hour preparing- which was now a lovely shade of charcoal.

Yuuko chuckled and swept away- leaving Watanuki to deal with the ruined meal. After tossing the dish out (_all that time- wasted!_) and taking off his apron, he left to see just who on earth had been sucked into the trap- sorry, _shop _that was his place of employment. Maru and Moro were already spying when he walked up to them, who shushed him immediately, and bent down to peer through the sliding door at the new guests.

Yuuko sat opposite two customers in the center of the room. One, the older of the two, was a fairly young woman with light hair and fairly blue eyes, looking curious and a little confused at the dark haired witch across from her. The other looked much less calm- even a little anxious and jumpy. It was a girl, maybe around his age and obviously a foreigner. She was tall, had blonde hair that was pulled up, and also sported blue eyes, though hers were much brighter than the woman's and kept flickering around the room- looking anywhere but directly at Yuuko. Watanuki frowned. He didn't think Yuuko was that intimidating…

"Is it normal for there to be more than one customer at once?" He whispered to the girls.

"Almost never happens~"

"Never happens~"

He decided to not to press the matter further, because just then the trio began to talk.

"Sorry about barging in like this," the older woman said. "We were just walking and the next thing you know- we were in here. I don't even remember walking toward the front door…"

"That's alright," Yuuko said quietly. "Welcome to my shop. I'm in the business of granting wishes."

"Wishes?"

Watanuki noticed the younger girl tense slightly. Yuuko seemed to noticed as well.

"If you'd like," she said to the girl, who still avoided her eyes. "I'd be more than happy to speak with you separately after I'm finished with your friend here. Maybe a cup of tea would help calm you down before we talk."

The older woman looked concerned at her younger friend. "Tanaka-san? Are you okay?"

"Fine." She said shortly, standing up all too quickly. "That would be great."

Yuuko smiled. "My employee would be more than happy to keep you company while you wait."

"W-What? No I-" To Watanuki's surprise, her eyes flicked instantly to his own, only to snap away. How did she know he was there? "I mean- yes. Yeah, t-that would be great."

"Good." Yuuko addressed him. "Watanuki, please see to it that she's comfortable while she waits."

"Comfortable~!"

"Comfortable~!" Maru and Moro chimed, circling him.

"Sure." He said, opening the door. "Right this way."

The girl hesitated, but then slowly followed him out of the room. He decided to lead her to the kitchen, where he could make her something. She looked so nervous- it made the spirit-seeing teen worry. What could be making her so tense?

"I'm Watanuki Kimihiro, by the way," He introduced himself gently- but even that seemed to make her tense up further beside him. "Tanaka-san, was it?"

She jumped. "O-Oh. Yeah. Tanaka Misaki. Just Misaki, please." She looked down at the floor, and whispered to herself, so softly he could barley hear it, "It really is, isn't it?"

A silence settled between them as they entered the kitchen- Watanuki decided not to make small talk- for fear it would make her even more anxious. She settled in the corner of the room, leaned against the counter and stared at the floor as he set a kettle on the stove. After a few minutes the water boiled he handed her a cup of tea, and watched as her hands shook trying to hold it to her lips. He bit his lip. He couldn't stand seeing another person so…so _tense_ like this. Something was seriously wrong.

"Hey, are you alright? You're shaking." He asked. "I know Yuuko can seem a little scary at times, but she's actually really nice-"

"I'm fine." Misaki replied quickly, and for the first time looked directly at him as she spoke. A forced smile graced her face. "I'm not always like this, I swear. It's just…" she put her tea down and looked away again. "I'm just being a scaredy cat- really, I'm fine."

He wasn't convinced. "Are you sure-"

"Hey, did you cook this all by yourself?" She asked suddenly, looking down at the only non-burnt part of the lunch he had been making- a cooked pork dish he had planned to make rice along with.

Watanuki groaned. "I'm the only one who _can _cook around here. I don't know how Yuuko didn't starve before I came along, and she asks me to do all these really complicated dishes and what do I get? No respect. I swear, no one appreciates a good chef anymore…"

Misaki blinked, and then let out a giggle- which escalated into a chuckle and then a full on laugh- all pervious tension in her posture suddenly broken. Watanuki didn't know whether to be relieved or confused by the sudden mood swing, but decided on the former when she smiled at him.

"Well, I can't cook to save my life- so you're top tier in my books, Watanuki-kun." She giggled again.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just," She grinned. "You sounded so much like some aggravated housewife just then- not that there's anything wrong with that." She added quickly, the words obviously simply spilling out. "I'm sorry. That was rude."

He was honestly just happy to see the girl lighten up a little. "No, that's fine. To be perfectly honest, I'm the only one who cleans around here too so I can see where you're coming from." He grimaced. "You wouldn't believe the size of Yuuko's storeroom."

"Oh, I think I can imagine." Misaki said lightly, but with an odd sort of look in her eye.

Watanuki frowned. "What-"

Before he could say any more, however, Maru and Moro appeared in the doorway. "Mistress is ready for you now~!"

Watanuki saw blonde foreigner's shoulders tense up again, but she seemed to shake herself out of it and took a deep breath.

"Come on, you can do this. You can't run away now- just ask her, you big baby-" She muttered under her breath in what Watanuki noticed was English, but couldn't make out a word of it. "Pull yourself together."

"Alright." She said finally, and followed, head held high. "Wish me luck, Watanuki-kun."

* * *

><p>I knew I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't help it.<p>

I was nervous- okay, _stupidly_ nervous. But I…I honestly had no clue what I planned to do. How did I go about asking Yuuko for something like what I wanted_? "Oh, hey. I need to go back to my own dimension and all, seeing as this one is a comic book. Could you help me with that?"_ Ugh. On top of that, I had no idea how much Yuuko knew about me. Did she know about my world? How about who put me here? Or why did they do it? How? Did she know why I could see spirits, or why my chest hurt like hell the other day? And heck, if she did, would she even be willing to tell me? Would I need to keep secrets from her?

"This way~"

"This way~"

I followed Maru and Moro, who admittedly I found myself seeing as adorable. They were cute in weird sort of way, if I disregarded the fact they were soulless anchors keeping the shop alive.

I thought back to Watanuki. I smiled despite myself. He was a sweetheart. I must have looked pretty bad for him to seem so concerned. But I just couldn't help myself. Seeing him, Yuuko, the twins- it was overwhelming. I knew everything about them, and they knew nothing about me (well, except possibly Yuuko). They were the main characters- people I had already grown to love by watching and reading them, and suddenly they were real. Tangible. Within my reach. Actually meeting them put everything in whole new perspective, I suppose.

We stopped outside another sliding door, which they opened and ushered me inside. Yuuko was there, splayed out on a couch, a pipe to her lips. She was stunning. The manga and anime did her no justice. Her eyes were ones you could get lost in, and seemed to invite you to share everything- secrets, hopes, dreams- anything.

I took a minute to sit on a cushion already laid out for me. Then something struck me.

"Where's Nana?" I asked, forgetting the honorific for a moment.

Yuuko took a drag from her pipe. "She had to leave. Apparently, her boyfriend was waiting to take her out to lunch. Their three year anniversary, she said." The witch looked right in my eyes, and it took all I had to hold her gaze. "But we both know that was lie, don't we?"

My gaze hardened. The unspoken implication was clear. There was no beating around the bush with her, it seemed.

"Yeah. We do." Inwardly, I felt a sigh of relief. At least we wouldn't waste time with awkward small talk.

"Hmm…" Was all Yuuko replied. I swallowed, throat suddenly very dry.

"Can you help me?" I asked, my voice cracking. "That's my wish- that's why I could see the shop, right?"

She laid her pipe down, and blew a puff of smoke in the air. "Indeed, that is why you can enter the shop."

Yuuko didn't say anymore, and I felt my heart sink to my stomach.

"You can't send me back home, can you?"

"No, that isn't it." Yuuko shook her head, voice suddenly dead serious. "I do have the power to send you back where you wish to go. However, I have chosen not to grant your wish. I simply won't, and that is my final decision."

"What? Why not?" I was on my feet without even knowing it. "Is it the price? I'll pay whatever you want- I have to have something I can give you."

"The price is not an issue." Yuuko said, eyes softening. "Sometimes people want things without knowing their consequence. You must be careful what you wish for; and that is why I will not help you."

"And just what the hell is that suppose to mean?" My voice rose, though Yuuko hardly reacted to my tone. "I'm sick of all these cryptic answers! Why can't anyone be straight with me for a change?"

She swept up from her seat and stood before me, barely a foot away from my reddening face. _Just who did she think she was? Without her I…I was…_

"I'm sorry," was all she said. "Perhaps you can discover for yourself my reasoning- in time."

"You can't just say no like this." I said, my voice cracking again. I could feel the tears coming before they rolled down my cheeks. "If you can't…then I'll never…_you just can't!_"

The witch reached one slender hand up to face, wiping away a tear or two. "My reason has to do with this," she gently touched my collarbone. "And this," she move her hand over my chest, right above my heart. "Until you realize what it is, I won't ever consider helping you. I am truly sorry."

Her tone was genuinely regretful, and she went to brush away more of the tears staining my face- only I pushed her away, stumbling backwards. _This wasn't happening_. This _couldn't _be happening. I refused to accept it- I _couldn't_ accept it. She was my last hope- my _only_ hope of ever seeing my family or friends ever again, and she was _choosing _not to help me?

I remember rushing out the door and down the hallway, passing a bewildered and confused Watanuki, before running out the front door, furiously rubbing at my eyes- but the waterworks just wouldn't stop. I had never cried so much in my life- or felt as terrible as I had since arriving in the stupid world. _How had everything suddenly gone so wrong so quickly? _

I don't know how I managed to get back home (_no, it isn't my home and never will be_), but I do remember curling up in bed, and wanting nothing more than to go to sleep and never wake up.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the shop that was not quite here or there, a certain witch pondered her decision. <em>Was it truly the right thing to do?<em>

The indecision hardly lasted a moment. _Yes. It's for the best; even if she does not realize it. _

She looked down at the sake in her hands she had had Watanuki buy the day before. _She'll be back. After all, this is inevitable. _

* * *

><p><strong>(AN)**: Regrettably, this chapter had to be cut short. However, the next chapter will be twice as long! Yays! So, yeah. Look forward to it because I'm sure looking forward to writing it. Hmm, do you guys think this was rushed? I'm sort of waffling between liking it or not.

Up next- more canon character interactions (that won't be nearly as depressing) and the introductions of Himawari and Doumeki! Oh, and someone gets hit by a truck. That too.

Reviews are, as always, appreciated. I read them all, and I'm always happy to hear someone out there is enjoying my sorry excuse for a self-insert, lol. ^_^


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